A Message of Love From Jesus

I apologize to the few people who read my blog, as I have been busy and lazy for the last month. I now have a new fire lit under my ass to keep me writing. Anyways.

Today, I was shown something that piqued my interest. If you did not know, Christopher Hitchens, the man whom a fuckton of religious zealots would enjoy gutting like a pig, has throat cancer. He is in pretty bad shape, too. You can watch the video here to see what I mean. Anyways, I was shown a very disturbing (but not surprising) post on a baptist forum concerning Hitchens and his cancer.

Taken from landoverbaptist.net by Pastor Ezekial:

"Brothers and sisters, as you all heard me announce last Sunday in church, the notorious atheist thug Christopher Hitchens has been stricken by Jesus with throat cancer. I praise Jesus for this, as I know you all do as well. His will be done.

I think it is particularly appropriate that Jesus has chosen to strike Mr. Hitchen's voice box, as it has been the atheist's main weapon in convincing people to worship satan. This particular atheist has spent years giving lectures and writing thick books espousing the typical hatred that atheists espouse, and so he has a lot to answer to Jesus for. If he follows his chosen path, he will certainly be hurled down into the deepest abyss of Hell, there to be tortured in unspeakable painful ways for all eternity. One can only imagine...
 
But friends, I have been touched by this miserable, obese, alcoholic foreign godmocker's plight. As America's leading True Christian™ Pastor, I feel it is my Christian duty to do everything I can to get this angry sinner Saved and sent to Heaven. Yes I do.
 
Therefore, I am calling on all my Prayer Warriors to start Praying today to CONVERT CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS FOR CHRIST and that he be WASHED CLEAN OF SIN IN JESUS' SWEET, SWEET BLOOD. I'm ordering round the clock Prayer on this one, because the demons he worships are strong. Use whatever it takes, Prayer Warriors. Time to do battle with satan and post your Prayers here."

Disturbing, isn't it? Don't you love how Christianity is supposed to be a religion of love, hope, and charity? Hypocrisy never tasted so sweet.

I'm feeling a bit sassy, so let's dissect this piece of garbage, line by line.

"Brothers and sisters, as you all heard me announce last Sunday in church, the notorious atheist thug Christopher Hitchens has been stricken by Jesus with throat cancer. I praise Jesus for this, as I know you all do as well. His will be done."

I am glad you came in your pants when you heard this news. Jesus obviously had his hands in Hitchens throat cancer *sarcasm*. But, lets ignore the fact that he was a chain smoker for most of his life. As for calling him a thug, well, I don't think I need to point out the irony in that statement.

"I think it is particularly appropriate that Jesus has chosen to strike Mr. Hitchen's voice box, as it has been the atheist's main weapon in convincing people to worship satan. This particular atheist has spent years giving lectures and writing thick books espousing the typical hatred that atheists espouse, and so he has a lot to answer to Jesus for. If he follows his chosen path, he will certainly be hurled down into the deepest abyss of Hell, there to be tortured in unspeakable painful ways for all eternity. One can only imagine..."

I love how atheists are now devil worshipers and that Hitchens actively promotes worshiping satan. If this cumstain took ten minutes to look up what atheism is, he would find that we don't worship ANYTHING. Atheism is the belief that there is no god, no satan, no jesus, no heaven, no hell, etc etc. But, ignorance is bliss as they say. I would love for Pastor Ezekial to elaborate on what the "typical hatred that atheists espouse" is. The only hatred I can see is coming from you, buddy. I bet when you wrote this, you were sitting in front of you computer, violently jerking yourself off to the image of Hitchens burning in hell, just dying to climax. One can only imagine...

"But friends, I have been touched by this miserable, obese, alcoholic foreign godmocker's plight. As America's leading True Christian™ Pastor, I feel it is my Christian duty to do everything I can to get this angry sinner Saved and sent to Heaven. Yes I do. Therefore, I am calling on all my Prayer Warriors to start Praying today to CONVERT CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS FOR CHRIST and that he be WASHED CLEAN OF SIN IN JESUS' SWEET, SWEET BLOOD. I'm ordering round the clock Prayer on this one, because the demons he worships are strong. Use whatever it takes, Prayer Warriors. Time to do battle with satan and post your Prayers here."

"But friends, I have been touched by this miserable, obese, alcoholic foreign godmocker's plight". Aww, isn't that cute? I'm touched that you want to use the suffering of another human being to further your religious agenda. How nice. I bet Christopher can't wait to be washed in Jesus' sweet, sweet blood.

What a sweet, gentle message, but this is only the tip of the iceberg. Go spend ten minutes perusing around on that website and you will be floored by what these "True Christians" say. Their arrogance, hatred, and stupidity is almost palpable. As for Pastor Ezekial, if Jesus were real, I doubt he would want you, or any of your followers to claim that you have anything to do with him. Your fanaticism and fundamentalism is disturbing and your lack of compassion for non-Christians is sickening. Sure, religion is a thorn in my side. But, do I wish death upon Baptists, Mormons, Catholics, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists etc? Hell no.

Pastor Ezekial, you need to take your head out of your ass and join reality. It's zealots like you that make me hate religion to my very core. Pray for my soul, Pastor Ezekial, 'cuz I've got some sinning to do.